Click, Clack, Quackity-Quack

I had a dream last night. I won’t even begin to try and explain what happened in my dream but it was weird to say the least. It involved marriage and laughter and nudity, like I said I won’t even try to tell you how those fit together because it is probably not even close to the way you are thinking right now. Anyway, as I have thought about this dream all day long I have realized, maybe, what my unconscious mind was trying to make me know. I want, I crave, I need, someone, more specifically someone of the male persuasion, to know me intimately to see me naked and not run away from that closeness. This isn’t me trying to thinly veil my want for a boyfriend, I genuinely need a boy who I can tell everything to. All my parts that the world doesn’t know, the mental illness that runs rampant in my family, my fear of driving that I had to waste $400 to figure out how deep it runs, how much it hurts me when my family makes sarcastic comments about my lack of friends and drivers license. I need someone who isn’t afraid of silence when I can’t seem to make the words come out right. I need someone who can see my sin and where I fall flat on my face and still wrap his arms around me. I need a friend for always, not a friend you see at church, not a friend who you live only a couple miles from but you never talk to. I need someone who cares enough to not drift away when he thinks I am doing okay because I am still that little kid that as soon as you leave me alone I fall down as get hurt. I need a boy who can love me as I am, as a girl who struggles with depression and self doubt and who has a dependent personality, who for so long has been trying to be the person who people make her out to be that she doesn’t know who she is or what she wants to do with her life. I need someone who can see me naked and not shield their eyes.

RT: The reason they want you to fit in is that once you do, then they can ignore you. -Seth Godin (via @CameronWoodward)

Tell me again why did I decide it was a good idea to get two tattoos in one day? My leg feels like it is going to fall off. Ow.

Angsty Moment.

Thanks again for not telling me your address. And for saying you were going to write to me and then not. Oh and thanks for not come to find me at Freedom Fest, who gives a flying flip if I was working you could have at least come and said hi.

The sound of saws doesn’t help either

Did you know that sitting outside of the tattoo parlor has a tendency to make someone who is already nervous even more nervous.